On the other day, I was asked by a friend’s friend, when four of us were drinking together at one bar in down town , Vancouver.
“There was a hostess club in downtown, Vancouver , once in these days but the club was closed pretty soon after open because lack of profit.
Why do you think it is closed while host/ hostess clubs in Japan are making so much money and there are so many of them ?”
I could not answer to this question right away.
Instead I thought about why for a minute and said.
“In Vancouver, Everything is designed for family or a group of people.
I needed a space to live here and found that most of all the room that I can afford is needed to share the common space and get a room for myself in its house.
I go to any super market and found a big bag of everything, like 220g of potato chips, 400g of nuts, 6 bagels, big cookie bag…..
But It is easy to be alone in Japan.
It is easy to find a room to rent for one person. That has everything we need, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom and laundry. It is not big but it has everything necessary.
It is easy to get a meal for one person as well. After work, go to a supermarket after train ride to home town, at super market, there are many choices of one coin meals. One coin means about $5. Very easy to pay.
Imagine that a lot of Japanese people after graduation from college or since college student, starts living on their own.
The first a few years are great.
No parents, no complaint from them, no sibling argument. No difficulty in human relationship.
All space for myself. Free time.
But there is some point to feel all by myself.
So I think when people feel alone, they go outside, some of them go to bar.
Some of them go to host / hostess club.
For some people host/ hostess club can be the place to fill up the void in their lonely heart. I assume.
There are beautiful host / hostess who treat you very well, are well mannered, listen to your story very carefully and tell you stories that amuses you.
Some people found it is great until they become broke.”
And my friend’s friend who had been in Japan for a year as English teacher agreed me and said.
“It is luxury to be alone in Vancouver. But in Japan, it is easy.”
When I was in Japan, I watched a lot of American drama like “friends” “new girl” ,” Gray’s anatomy” and the big bang theory” and thought it looks very fun to share a house with friends.
And I came here and found out that people share a house not because they want to, but because the house are designed for a group of people, because there are not many good deals for a person to rent a house, because the rent is often too high.
Honestly when I was in Japan I did not see the reasons why people in America share a house.
From Japanese point of view, it seemed they share a house for fun.
All the TV drama characters look enjoying living with the others. I thought that’s why friends live with friends.
I was wrong.
Friends live with friends because that’s how the house is designed.
Houses are designed like that because there are thoughts of how things should be.
Because there is culture to make those houses.
Apparently western culture are not like Japanese one.
Japanese culture is” to avoid” when it is compared to western culture.
We avoid discussion. Because that discussion may become dispute and leave us awkwardness .
We hesitate to say what we want because the other may not agree or feel anger to it and be a secret bully as return.
We avoid eye contacts. Because staring may make others uncomfortable or the person could be lunatic.
I think that’s why it is so easy to find a way to live alone in Japan.
Because Japanese culture is to avoid un peaceful situation with others. That kind of lead to avoiding to interact with others at all. So the way we can find a flat for one person.
When I put it like this, I am worried about being misinterpreted in the other way around.
Japanese love interaction, talking, hanging out with friends.
When we are asked “where is the train station” by strangers on the street, we are glad to help you.
I meant is we try to keep the peaceful relationship with others ( even when it is only surface )
Thank you for reading my thoughts. I am looking forward to hear yours.
And when it comes to myself, I am Japanese but I am not typical Japanese that I described as above (although I called Japanese as we),
but I don’t totally behave like western person as well.
We are all unique.